Problems are Self Generated
The reason why we have problems is because we create them out of curiosity, negligence, desires, insecurity and the worst; fear. When we write these problems down and get to the root of them we can see how we are usually the cause of them, whether we like to admit to them or not.
Cause and Effect
How can I be the cause of all of my problems? Get real Bernard!
But I am being real—in the sense that when we look at our problems from within, we will see that it reflects us like a mirror. Write down all of your problems on paper and then think about their causes. How did they occur? Immediately we are probed to say that others are at fault for our problems.
Keyword: our problems.
Yet if we look closely at them, we will see that our problems cannot exist without us—they need a host, and we can decide to continue to allow them to run our lives or run them out... ahem... write them out. Each problem has a cause, hence, because you make a choice, A-B-C and X-Y-Z happens.
"Oh, but I did not cause someone to hit my car today." But you did choose to drive today and perhaps you did choose to excavate or dramatize the accident as a huge problem. Let's face it, accidents happen right... or did they happen prior to a previous choice that we made? Tricky.
Let's start by writing down the cause of each problem that we face without judgment; without blaming David, the cheating husband, Jessica, my dumb brother or that stupid driver. Once we are free from judging others, then, can we truly start solving problems.
"But it's their fault!"
Yeah, yeah, I know.
However, you made a choice that you're not seeing clearly. What was it?
Simplify to Lowest Terms.
Mathematics was never my favorite subject but I did and still do, love to simplify. Once we simplify our problems by writing in exact details how they occurred in the first place, and see that it was in our actions, momentum, fear, misjudgment or pure ambition that stimulated them, we will see that it all leads back to us—back to that choice we made. Find it, cultivate it and accept it, then, move on with your life.
There are no wrong or right choices, every choice is right. What is right or wrong is how we handle the results.
"Easy for you to say, it's not that simple!"
...Well, that's also a choice.
What the Problem Instead of Why
Once we have simplified, it's time to stop asking why did this happen to me or had to happen to me.
We often ask why, why, why. But how often do we ask what? As in, what can we do about this problem?
Okay, I get it, he cheated on you and you don't know why. Or she left you without giving you a reason, you got fired for something stupid, etc... How many times will you reiterate this redundant story? It's time to write a new story. Like, what will I do next? Uh-huh, that's right, the one we avoid so much—moving on with our lives.
Write down what you can do with a current problem; include all possibilities, then exercise them—exercise, another word we like to avoid. ;--)
Stop being a masochist to your problems. Write those problems down; heal, reinvigorate and press forward with solutions.